Thursday, January 8, 2015

The Panic, The Purge, and The Plan

I used to live a blissful life of buying cheap disposable clothing, eating whatever that came from wherever, and carelessly acquiring stuff.

One day, I looked around my home, and an overwhelming sense of panic completely washed over me. Where did all this crap come from?! How have I accumulated so much stuff I don’t need?

After manically tearing through my house, I stopped and actually reflected on what this crazy purge-a-thon was about. I decided I wanted to feel better about the way I behaved in a world where I can easily buy, throw away, and buy more.

Two revaluations helped me commit to this change:

The time I spent teaching in rural ChinaDuring my time in China I actually saw what poverty was. While some people can easily conceptualize that real poverty exists (without being slapped in the face with it); I could not. It took the feelings, the smells, and the sights of true poverty for me to actually get it. (If you are interested in more of this check out the blog I wrote about 1,000 years ago here.

  Find what is important to me and nourish it-  Like many people, I feel victim to the post grad “ehhhh who am I?  What do I do? How to I move around this world without the constant validation I need every second of every day?!” Instead of handling that with grace and maturity I fell into a pretty dark place that eventually lead to a full blown breakdown (whoa, heavy right?). 

From that experience I decided that the best way to live my life was not giving a damn. And not just faking it, but actually making the decision to monitor the amount of energy I spent worrying about what my decisions, my passions, and my feelings looked like to other people; because when it comes down to the nitty gritty other people don’t live inside this body or this mind, so they don’t get a say in how this life operates. But with that realization I had to face the tough question: What is important to me?

What is important to me is being good to others; all others.

I began extending my new “being good to others” attitude to how I behaved as a consumer. I am an employee of Whole Foods Market and have fortunately been given the guidance on how to consume consciously with my food choices, my cleaning products, and my beauty routine. But there was on glaring area that I wasn't addressing: clothing.

How do I dress consciously? 

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